Swallows Return to New York Sports

By Eddie Mayrose

Each year, around the feast of St. Joseph (March 19th) the famous cliff swallows of San Juan Capistrano return from their winter vacation spot 6,000 miles south in Goya, Corrientes, Argentina. While it is truly one of nature’s wonders, it isn’t as unique as many might think. Here in New York, we annually celebrate the return of our own type of swallows; loony birds with no capacity to remember past failures who are destined to perpetuate their own suffering.

New York Jet Fans Return to Capistrano

My heart goes out to Cheap Seater Lou Ricciardi. He’s been mentioned before in this space as a long suffering Jet fan that can’t stop himself from being sucked into the hype. Perhaps in an attempt to conceal his gullibility, Lou sent me a blurb that he found on a Jets blog, rather than put his own name to the same, misguided optimism. Anyway, some poor slob submitted a long post about the death of the “Same Old Jets” and mocking Gang Green’s naysayers. As if his heart won’t be broken once again. Continue reading »

By Eddie Mayrose

New York Baseball Fans Never Learn

It happens every spring.  One of our two, local nines gets off to a slow start and the “First Time-Long Time” experts light up the phone lines on the talk shows.  Last season, after the Yankees had blown their first eight contests with the Red Sox, the signings of Mark Teixeira and C.C. Sabathia were questioned; as was the competence of manager Joe Girardi.  Just curious; how’d 2009 work out for the Bombers in the end?  Yet, even in the middle of a strong start to 2010, Yankee fans are again showing off their short memory; this time looking to hang struggling starter, Javier Vasquez. Despite the fact that Vasquez was an All Star in his first go-round in the Bronx, won a World Series in Chicago, is coming off the best season of his dominant career and was acquired for next to nothing, the so-called experts cite the grand slam he surrendered to Johnny Damon in the 2004 ALCS as the reason he’ll never be able to succeed in New York.  Remember that down the stretch as they’re chanting his name in the ninth inning of a two hit shutout. Continue reading »

by Dennis Rizzo

New York Mets Moving in Wrong Direction. Again!

It can’t be too hard to be a GM, can it? Assuming Omar Minaya is not being omardirected (like George used to do with the Yanks), and realizing that the new Citi Field is a cavernous, pitcher’s park, why would the first free agent signing be Jason Bay? Typical Mets blunder. Get a pitcher!! John Lackey would’ve been perfect, since he comes from that real league (the AL) and would basically be pitching against minor leaguers in the NL. Oh, sorry, Minaya did sign Kelvim Escobar, who may have to pitch left-handed this year.

John, Paul, George, Ringo and The Bachelor. The Bachelor?

Don’t you wish you were “The Bachelor” (right), even for just a month or so? What kind of women cry within an hour of meeting a man? Yes, the women bachthat attended the Beatles concerts started crying as soon as the Fab Four stepped on stage. But, c’mon; they were The Beatles. These “Bachelor” ladies, however, were saying things like, “I was picturing our lives together.” What?!  I’d toss any girl that a)said the word “like” more than once per sentence; b) was from California (they’re all nuts) or c) had made “poor male choices” for 8 years in a row.

What A Difference A Decade Makes

Tiger Woods is so 2009!  Randy Johnson retired. He is so 1999.

Naturally Unnatural

Speaking of Johnsons, I read today that Casey Johnson, the 30 year-old heiress to the Johnson & Johnson fortune, died of natural causes. Natural causes? Sorry, it’s not natural to die at 30 years-old. Please!

New York Knicks Achieve Addition By Subtraction

Is Stephon Marbury still playing basketball? After a quick check on nba.com, he’s nowhere to be found. I guess the Knicks made more good moves than we initially thought. They’ve won a few games and play exciting ball; they kicked Marbury and his nasty attitude to Beantown and they have all this salary cap room. Break out the Knicks jersey from the closet, I’m buying back in.

Broadway Blues Land A Top Dog

The NY Rangers’ Marion Gaborik is really, really good. Reminds me of a mixed-breed dog. Sort of a Jaromir Jagr/Pavel Bure/Mike Gartner combo, except, you won’t find him in a shelter.

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