Wagstaff and Son Reach Final Four of Survivor League

by Eddie Mayrose

After ten weeks, the good professor and his general manager, son Timothy, have outlasted ten family members and positioned themselves in the final four of the McGee Survivor League.  Riding the tails of the Johnson brothers, their two superstar wide receivers Andre and Calvin, Waggie and Tim have seen their Fantasy Football team, Home Alone 2, dodge every bullet thrown its way.  Now, with two brothers and a cousin standing as the only obstacles between him and the grand prize, Tim is feeling his oats.  ” I talked dad out of Carson Palmer last week and Joe Flacco came through.  This week, it’s Michael Crabtree in for Mike Williams. If we win again, dad’s paying for the Harry Potter movie.”  We’ll see, Tim. Continue reading »

by Moonlight Graham

Got a call the other day from Jack Sullivan, proprietor of The Big Steins in the Hausier’s Krowedum Rotisserie League fieldwithballmoonand proud owner of the second and sixth picks in the upcoming HKRL Fantasy Baseball Draft.  Jack had just started his draft prep by going over a few mock drafts and Top 100 lists.  He was surprised to find Joe Mauer listed no higher than 12th on any of the material he was studying and had a question for me. “Now, with the second pick, Hanley Ramirez is a no-brainer. But, with the sixth pick, I want Joe Mauer.”  “The list I’m looking at has him listed 12th but I’m not sure he even lasts until number 6.  Am I crazy?”

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by Dennis Rizzo

Hall of Fame Honors for The Hawk: Where Do I Sign?

Andre Dawson was recently voted into the MLB Hall of Fame.  Good for him.  A really good ballplayer who appeared -andre-dawsonnot to be on steroids (note: Mark McGwire garnered a whopping total of 23.7% of eligible votes…..see more on Big Mac below). When I think about Dawson, what comes to mind was his free agency year in 1987.  The Expos did not want to pay up and apparently, due to the owner’s collusion, no other team was interested.  He meets with the Cubs and tells them to hand him (Dawson) a blank contract!  He signs it and tells the Cubs to fill in the amount later. I seriously doubt Scott Boras would let that happen today.   Dawson went on to bash 49 HR’s and take the MVP that year.

This Just In- Belly Full of  Steroids?

Mark McGwire admits to steroid use “on and off for 10 years.”  Don’t know about you, but when his neck got to be the size of Buddha’s stomach, I didn’t need a Congressional panel to figure out that he was juicing.

David Segui’s Family Hands Him a Hall of Fame Vote

Kevin Appier, Pat Hentgen and David Segui each secured one vote this year.  Appier was a solid starter and Pat Hentgen won the 1996 Cy Young Award but why the hell is Segui’s name there?!  He must have a sportswriter relative somewhere in this great country.

Red Sox Road to Nowhere

Mike Cameron and John Lackey signed with the Red Slobs.   Lackey should get hurt as a fly ball pitcher in that park and Cameron is very capable of striking out with abandon in all parks.

Straight Out of Left Field

Many people consider drugs a large sports issue and it should be.  But the main issue about drugs is that the pain is arenasself-inflicted.   Guns on the other hand, generally hurt, mutilate and kill others.  Gilbert Arenas and his friendly teammate, Javaris Crittenten brought their firearms to the workplace recently to settle a sports debt.  Nice guys, huh?  Let’s hope they get several decades in a state penitentiary.  Twenty years ago, they’d be part of a team called the Baltimore Bullets (whose name changed due to the negative connotation it put on the city).   They’re joined on the list by several noted gun-toting folks:  Scotty Pippen, Plaxico Burress, Ben Johnson, the former Net Jayson Williams, Willie Mays Aikens, Cesar Cedeno, Ruben “Hurricane” Carter and many other Emmy Award winners who committed crimes without the use of a gun.

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