by Dennis Rizzo
New York Mets Moving in Wrong Direction. Again!
It can’t be too hard to be a GM, can it? Assuming Omar Minaya is not being directed (like George used to do with the Yanks), and realizing that the new Citi Field is a cavernous, pitcher’s park, why would the first free agent signing be Jason Bay? Typical Mets blunder. Get a pitcher!! John Lackey would’ve been perfect, since he comes from that real league (the AL) and would basically be pitching against minor leaguers in the NL. Oh, sorry, Minaya did sign Kelvim Escobar, who may have to pitch left-handed this year.
John, Paul, George, Ringo and The Bachelor. The Bachelor?
Don’t you wish you were “The Bachelor” (right), even for just a month or so? What kind of women cry within an hour of meeting a man? Yes, the women that attended the Beatles concerts started crying as soon as the Fab Four stepped on stage. But, c’mon; they were The Beatles. These “Bachelor” ladies, however, were saying things like, “I was picturing our lives together.” What?! I’d toss any girl that a)said the word “like” more than once per sentence; b) was from California (they’re all nuts) or c) had made “poor male choices” for 8 years in a row.
What A Difference A Decade Makes
Tiger Woods is so 2009! Randy Johnson retired. He is so 1999.
Speaking of Johnsons, I read today that Casey Johnson, the 30 year-old heiress to the Johnson & Johnson fortune, died of natural causes. Natural causes? Sorry, it’s not natural to die at 30 years-old. Please!
New York Knicks Achieve Addition By Subtraction
Is Stephon Marbury still playing basketball? After a quick check on nba.com, he’s nowhere to be found. I guess the Knicks made more good moves than we initially thought. They’ve won a few games and play exciting ball; they kicked Marbury and his nasty attitude to Beantown and they have all this salary cap room. Break out the Knicks jersey from the closet, I’m buying back in.
Broadway Blues Land A Top Dog
The NY Rangers’ Marion Gaborik is really, really good. Reminds me of a mixed-breed dog. Sort of a Jaromir Jagr/Pavel Bure/Mike Gartner combo, except, you won’t find him in a shelter.