Questions I’ve Been Waiting to Ask
by Eddie Mayrose

Here we are, two days before the end of the world.  According to the Mayans, those fun-loving Guatemalans whose civilization, some time around 900 A.D., simply vanished, December 21, 2012 will bring the curtain down on mankind’s Broadway run.

Now, I have to admit, the Mayan credibility takes a bit of a hit when you realize they probably thought they’d see the final performance; only to fall one or eleven centuries short.  But, once Hollywood made the movie, I figured it had to be true.

Therefore, I’ve abandoned my plans for, what now seems, unnecessary Christmas shopping and begun to get things in order. I don’t know if I’ll need a bag, but I’ve packed one, anyway.  And, yes, I’ve included some warm weather apparel because, well, I might need it.  Yet, as the date approaches, I find myself excited by the prospect of, finally, having some questions answered by the Big Guy.  You know, those things in a lifetime that, no matter how much time passes, always make you wonder.  Having no idea how much time I’ll have alone with Him, I decided it would be prudent to knock my list down to ten, so as to focus on the really, really important stuff.  Who knows?  Maybe He watches Letterman, too.

So, submitted for your approval and as the last column with which I’ll bore you, (you hope), here are the Top Ten questions I’d like to ask God.

Continue reading »

Only One Way To Replace Jeter
by Eddie Mayrose

Imagine that you’ve booked Tom Clancy to speak at a writing seminar and, on his way to the podium, he falls and breaks his ankle. Just when you think all is lost, Clive Cussler rises from his seat in the audience and agrees to take over.   Imagine, still, that Elton John will be performing at your daughter’s Sweet Sixteen party.  As he’s stepping out of his car, however, he falls and breaks his ankle.  As your little girl begin to cry, the father of one of her friends, some guy named Billy Joel, mentions that he plays the piano a little bit and would be happy to step in.  Impossible scenarios?  Absolutely.  But, despite the odds, it’s exactly where Joe Girardi finds himself this morning.  Continue reading »

Penn State Officials Enabled Sandusky

by Eddie Mayrose

“Callous and shocking disregard for victims”.  That is how Judge Louis Freeh described the actions of the fraud, Joe Paterno, and the rest of the Cowardly Lions of Penn State as they attempted to cover up the criminal actions of Jerry Sandusky. Maybe now, after all this time, Paterno’s apologists, the ones who insist that the gutless coach followed procedure by reporting what he knew to his “superiors”, will shut up and go away.  It is time for the university, more of an inbred cult than a school, really, to acknowledge the heinous actions of the small coward that patrolled its sidelines for nearly half a century and turn its attention to finding a way to, finally, deliver justice to the victims. Continue reading »

Timing is Critical in Tweaking Your Roster

by Eddie Mayrose

Got a call this week from one of my favorite patients, Marc Hibsher, of the 40Kane Fantasy Baseball League.  It wasn’t entirely pleasant, as he was having difficulty following the method for Fantasy Baseball success that I had prescribed for him shortly after his draft.

“OK, Doc”, he began.  ” I get the whole patience thing.  I agree that the first two weeks aren’t a large enough sample of how the season will unfold and that I can do more harm than good by being hasty.  I actually agreed with you, as hasty has never been a good fit for me.  Actually, hasty has always gotten me in trouble.”

“However, I’m a month into my season and I’ve got a guy riding Matt Kemp and Josh Hamilton and running away with my league.  Now, can I do something?”

Well, Marc, I’m going to say yes, but advise moderation.  The danger you face in pulling the plug on some of your draft picks is to ship guys out that are on the verge of breaking out, while others that you desire may have a bit of a false resume.  You could end up with a non-substantive squad as empty as a newspaper with no news.

Let’s bulldozier our way through some Buy Low, Sell High and Stay Put candidates and see if we can rehabilitate your roster. Continue reading »

“God Bless Our Timothys”

by Eddie Mayrose

The debate had raged throughout the summer. We’d grown used to the happy dilemma of choosing a name for a new baby, as it was, perhaps, the most exciting thing about expecting a child. None of us could wait for the November due date.  However, this time it was a little different.  This time, it wasn’t just my wife, Virginia, and me.  We now had four other opinions being tossed around the dinner table as our children, ages nine to fourteen, were each certain of their own ability to select the perfect name.

By late August, we were no closer to a decision.  It was then that Virginia, taking full advantage of her birthday privileges, put her foot down and announced to all of us that she had decided on a girl’s name – Caroline.  She then decreed that I would be responsible for selecting a boy’s name, and that she would abide by my decision without question.  Unfortunately for me, I didn’t have a particular name in mind. Continue reading »

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