Gil Lock Happy to Be Back
by Eddie Mayrose

One casualty of the respite taken by those here at Fantasy Sports Dirt was Gil Lock, the guru of Ryno Rife Sports Handicapping.  During our ryno-rife5previous run, we featured Gil’s weekly college football selections, often with less than stellar results.  There came a point, actually, that things got so rough, his wife Jill and nephew Pad were summoned to his rescue, eventually being featured in the column as well.

Last week, after an incessant barrage of calls from Gil trumpeting his huge success over the first three weeks of the season and demanding that we restore his forum.  Careful what you wish for, Gilly boy, as this didn’t go so well the first time around.  That said, it is with great pleasure that we re-re-reintroduce our Locks of the Week.

Gil Lock (6-1-1)

It’s about time, Mayrose.  You never missed a deadline when I was picking dead pieces.  Now that I’m on fire, you’re off with those clowns at Roto X Files or something.  Well, thanks for having me back.  Here we go.

Texas-Kansas St over 58-  Mack Brown is on his way out the door and K State lost at home to North Dakota State.  Can both teams lose the same game?  Don’t know, but I do know they won’t be able to stop each other.

UCLA -38 over New Mexico State- Big home weekend for the Bruins, who come off a shellacking of Nebraska in Lincoln.  New Mexico State wouldn’t be favored in their own campus flag football league.

Arizona State-Stanford under 52- I‘ve seen Stanford twice and have not been impressed either time.  Would normally like the Sun Devils, but they’re coming off a big win and are ripe for a letdown.


Jill Lock (0-0-0)

Do I really have to do this again?  It’s been over a year and I’m having a hard time remembering the handsome coaches and cute uniforms. Besides, when I pick better than Gil, he mopes all week.  I’m in, but under protest.

Notre Dame -6 over Michigan State- The Spartans uniforms are such an ugly shade of green and Brian Kelly looks so clean-cut with his slicked back hair that I just have to pick him.

Nevada -14 over Hawaii- This one was hard for me, because I met Gil in Vegas and we honeymooned in Oahu.  He won’t be happy that I’m picking against his native people, but they really don’t do well on the mainland.  Neither do their football players.

Kent State +14 ½ over Penn State- This one’s probably a loser, but I can’t help picking against the Cowardly Lions, especially as a mom.  Besides, the guy with the big head who sells me cold cuts is from Ped State and he never shuts up about it.


Pad Lock (0-0-0)

I knew something was up when Uncle Gil started texting me last week.  At first, I thought he was food shopping, because he was asking me about fritters and sweets.  Turns out, he meant Twitter and tweets, and he was looking for a forum to brag about his hot streak which, for him, is about as rare as, well, a hot streak.  Glad to be back.

LSU -14 over Auburn-  The hole from which Auburn is trying to climb out of is too deep for a recovery in just a few weeks of the season.  They’re improved, but not by nearly enough to deal with LSU in Baton Rouge.  Add in that Les Myles is under fire for his shenanigans at Oklahoma State, and you see where he needs a convincing win.  As Uncle Gil taught me, always lay the points when the coach of the favorite is a bad guy.

USC -7 over Utah State-  Speaking of bad guys, Lane Kiffin is on a particularly hot seat, himself.  Bad news for Utah State, but good for anyone laying the wood.

Texas A&M-SMU over 80 ½- This number is so ridiculous that you have to make the play.  Completing my bad boy theme is Johnny football, who must be really pissed about last week’s Bama game.  The Aggies will look to run it up, meaning SMU will need just one or two scores to put the game over.

Be Sociable, Share!

Leave a Reply




You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

© 2015 Fantasy Sports Dirt Suffusion theme by Sayontan Sinha